a very welthy and respected business man gets drunk one night on a business trip in italy; he sleeps with an under-age prostitute and she becomes pregnant.
understanding his situation. she accepts a very large sum of money to keep the whole thing quiet. she agrees to have the baby and with his child support, raise him in a nice lifestyle.
in order to confirm her actually having the baby, he asks her to send him a postcard with the word "speghetti" written on it. upon recieving the postcard, he will reply with child support checks once a month.
10 months later, the man's wife tells him at dinner "honey, you got a very odd postcard in the mail today from italy. do you know anything about it?" the man quickly take the postcard from his wife; after scanning it he abrupty faints in the middle of the kitchen.
written on the postcard: "Greetings from ITALY! We've got SPEGHETTI, SPEGHETTI, SPEGHETTI! Two with meatballs, one without!"
A guy walks into seven-eleven. He buys: One chocolate bar One twinkie One newspaper One apple One muffin Some milk A Redbull A pack of ciggarets. When he walks up to pay, the girl in the counter asks: Youre single? He turns red and says: Yeah, how did you know? "Because your fucking ugly"
One day a kid came into class late and the teacher asked him why he was late. The kid said it was because he was on top of blueberry hill. 10 minutes later another student arrived and the teacher asked why he was late. He just replied, "Buleberry Hill is a whore."
--- The teacher said, "I know..."
Yeah, I'm spent.
I hate liars. I hate hypocrites. I hate haters. Now gimmie a hug.
There is this talent agency and they are looking for fresh talent in the region so they put up posters everywhere. After a long day of casting calls the talent agent's secretary announces that the last candidates are ready to perform. A family of four walks into the talent office, a mother, a father, a girl and her younger brother. The little brother lays down a cardboard mat and the father sets a boom box on the talent agent's desk. He presses play and this really fast rap music starts playing.
The talent agent says wearily, 'well, let's see the act.'
With no further introduction they break into their routine. The young girl pulls off her father's tear-away pants and starts sucking his dick, while the mother starts eating the little boy's asshole. Once he's hard she picks him up and the father bends over and she starts feeding his dick into the dad's asshole while the daughter bends over underneath him and starts fucking him. The mother switches back and forth between licking balls and licking her daughter's pussy while her husband fucks her. When the father is just about to cum in his daughter he pulls a funnel out and sticks it in the mother's ass. He and his son beat each other off into the funnel until they fill the mother's ass up with cum, then the father pulls the funnel out of her ass and she squats over the daughter's face and shits the cum into her mouth. The daughter snowballs the shitty cum to the son and the son snowballs the cum to his dad and then finally the mother takes her glass eye out and the father drools the mouthful of cum into the mother's eye socket.
They all stand up and spread their arms apart, cum running down their faces and shit all over them, and they cry in unison, 'we're the aristocrats!'
What's the difference between this thread and a 7-11 store?
The 7-11 won't get locked. _______________ "To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." ---Theodore Roosevelt
a plane crashes on a small island. 3 people survive the crash. a frenchman, spanish man, and a newfie. while looking for supplies and wood to burn to stay warm, they stumble upon a genie's lamp and rub it. the genie pops out and agrees to grant each man one wish. he first asks the frenchman his wish, and he says "i wish i was home in france with my family and friends living a happy and healthy life" and poof he gets his wish. the spanish man wishes he was off the desert island, and goes home to find a huge mansion and gorgeous women waiting for him there. the genie grants his wish. he then turns to the newfie and asks for his wish, the newfie pauses, looks at he genie and starts to cry. the genie asks whats wrong and the newfie says to the genie "well you sent everyone away and it's very lonesome by. i sure wish i had my friends back here to keep me company."
Oh man. there is no measure to how dead that bitch would be. Think of the worse possible torture, multiply it by infinity take it to the depths of forever you would barely have a glimpse lol. Good one churtado, got a rise outta me ;P
>when you hear the pelvis snap! alright, that was bad, im sorry.
You know that porn has become an addiction when your at the gas station filling your tank and right when your about to top it off, you withdraw and spew gas all over your car.
